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A Conversation Inside:
-We want to know everyone. We wonder if there are more who have not shown themselves. Does anyone know? Is anyone hiding? Lost?
The One In Despair whose pain is awesome. It could kill us.
-What could?
The pain.
-Have we seen you before?
I don't know. I think you all know I am here. I think you like to forget me.
-Do we ignore you, you think?
It is easier not to think about me.
-The pain, is it physical?
No, it is despair. Depression. It is darkness that fill the soul and swallows it up. It takes all the light from the world and feeds on it to keep us alive. If the world had no light, we would be dead.
-Do you know the others?
Some. The One who would Take Out Our Eyes sees inside us. Knows me.
-The One who Would set the Body on Fire is also angry. Are you angry?
I am long past anger, or long before. I am without the power and energy of anger. I am dead of body, lost in darkness.
-When were you born?
In the mind of the Monster. I came when the Monster attempted to have us in pain. I came with the pain of the body. With the confusion of the struggle.
-Confusion?
The Monster. That confusion. That is the pain. That the Monster would torture us with things hard and hot and electric. That the Monster would take the breath from us, fill our lungs with water, keep the air from us. There I was born in sorrow in the wanting for one who did not hurt us. In the knowing that this one, did not love us right or good. So confusing, it was, that we thought ourselves insane rather that believe this was real. This monster. I am born of despair and loneliness.
J.C. 7/95
Looking Inside: Life Lessons
from a Multiple Personality in Pictures and Words, by Judy Castelli
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Copyright 1998-2004 Judy Castelli
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