It is a sad time, lonely time for us. I don't think we understand what it is, except that it feels like it is a long time, this feeling. Sad. A long time sad.
Everybody is so proud of me and I feel like I have nothing. I think the nothing is the loss of childhood. The absence of dreams, and wishes. Maybe the hopeless feeling is from knowing that my dreams will never be, not for me, ever. Never will be.
Those words follow me and take my dreams of a book and a museum show. They take my dreams of what might be and question them. We dare not dream.
We have lost our dreaming, lost our hoping for good things to come, resigned ourselves to never having what we want, never getting what we wish for.
There is no future worth waking up to. There is no dream today that feels worth the risk of dreaming. It cannot be. Never was. Never will be. How sad.
J.C. 4/96
HOME TOP multiplepersonality.com
Copyright 1998-2004 Judy Castelli
Next Page